The value of money

Just the other day, Andre asked me, "Mummy, do you know what I want to be when I grow up?" "What?" "A millionaire."

My friend Eunice previously blogged about the importance of teaching our kids to manage money. I couldn't agree more. In our relatively affluent world, many kids these days have no awareness of how to manage money. Most of the time, the reason is simple: they have too much of it.

When Lesley-Anne was in p1, she packed food for recess, so we gave her a token 50cts a day. Since she hardly bought anything from the school canteen, it became more of a hassle than anything, trying to find the loose change and remembering to give it to her. After a while, we stopped bothering. But one day, when I casually mentioned this to a friend, she said, "If you don't give her money, she will never learn how to manage it."

The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. So from then on, pocket money to our kids was carefully calculated (not based on the going rate). We give our kids enough to buy a meal but they'll have to think about whether they want to spend the remaining amount on a drink (which I consider an extra since they bring water) or an extra snack or just to save it. But they won't be able to do all three. That's the principle of management - to plan what you want to do with the finite amount of resources you have. Too much or too little and there's no management involved.

Related to this is the value of money. I'm sure we've all read horror stories where kids chalk up atrocious bills on credit, spend beyond their means and expect their parents to bail them out. Even young adults spend like there's no tomorrow, without thought as to how they will pay off their debts.

And I will say this unequivocally, often it's the parents' fault. If you think, "oh, my kids will learn to manage money when they're older", think again. If they can't manage $2, they won't be able to manage $2,000. If you have always doled out money to feed your children's needs and wants, how would they have learnt to value money (or things for that matter)? It's not about whether you can afford it, whether you are rich or poor. It's about responsible parenting. It's about teaching your kids that money is a commodity that needs to be earned and should be used with thought.

Both Lesley-Anne and Andre have been trained to value money. If we enter a toy store, they know better than to badger me to buy something for them. My rule is that us parents will pay for necessities, extras come out of their own pockets except for the occasional treat that we initiate. Interestingly enough though, I've found that the value of money can differ from person to person simply based on differences in character. My sister and I were brought up the same way, but I'm much more careful with money, she's more liberal.

I'm seeing this trend with my kids - Lesley-Anne plans for the future, Andre lives for the moment. When I brought Andre to the bookstore, I told him I would only buy him one Beast Quest book, if he wanted more, he had to pay for them himself. Immediately, he said, "ok! I have $40. How many Beast Quest books can that buy?" I was a little miffed - somehow the point of valuing money is lost if he's so willing to part with it.

But then I thought about it and realised that it may not be such a bad thing. You see, Andre has a very generous spirit. Although he knows that money is valuable and cannot be wasted, he doesn't love money. If that sounds contradictory, it's not. The lesson here is that we need to value money, ie not treat it carelessly, but not love money, ie be consumed by it. Money is, at the end of the day, only the means to an end. The bible is full of verses which warn against the love of money, not because money in itself is evil but because the love of it can lead to many evil thoughts and deeds. Another friend once told me, "Saving money is not the same as hoarding money." Very perceptive.

In sociology, we learnt a simple truth: wealth is not defined by how much you have, but how little you want. The Nigerians are one of the poorest people in the world, but they are also the happiest.

"Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless." - Ecclesiastes 5:10

So it's a volatile balance we need to achieve - value money but don't love it. Simple to understand, hard to execute. Now we just have to teach it to our kids.

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