Breakdown. (Monday Moments #55)

          New office. New environment. New people. Straight out of college, it was her first time living the corporate life. A month had passed by with many ups and downs. One month, doesn't seem like a lot, right? But, she counted days and every day felt like a year. It was unbearable and she wasn't ready for it. She was like a baby alpaca in the world full of tigers. And that day, it was just too much. Every month-end their branch organised a party. It was something to motivate employees. The party was in a pub far away from her home. Partying constituted for loud music, expensive food, fake laughter and sucking up to your bosses, all of which she hated. She had decided to not go there. She was adamant until her parents told her that she should go at least for the first time to understand the office culture and to make some friends. And also because it looks rude. She thought, "Well, I am rude and I don't care about a stupid party! If you want to motivate me, it's not going to happen by forcing me to go to some lame party where I'll be that awkward girl in the corner wanting to go home and watch a 'Game of Thrones' marathon in her comfy pajamas. Everyone isn't similar!" But, of course she had to go because of all the etiquette bullshit. She was thinking of dressing entirely in black, so that she'll show at least some silent sign of protest. Anyway, she went there. And, it sucked. It totally sucked. She was hungry for a long time and nothing was served for the first hour! Then, her colleagues ditched her to dance. She just sat on a couch wanting to go home. She then went outside and called her boyfriend and he was busy with something else which was somehow a priority over her. She called her real friends so that at least some time will pass. But, they were too busy with something or the other.  She was on the verge of a meltdown. It wasn't just about this party. She couldn't handle the messy tangled up politics in her office. Someone or the other came to screw up her office life. She just couldn't be a suck up and so no one was ever in her favour. She was new there and no one made her feel welcome. She was on the phase where she was going to breakup with her boyfriend. All she had were her friends and when they couldn't be there for her, it was just too much. She went to the bathroom and let the tears flow. She wasn't made for corporate life. This wasn't her. One problem attracted the other and there she stood facing a huge giant wheel of problems which had no solutions. She stood alone, facing her problems realising no one's ever good enough to care, trust or love. 

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

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