If you think you can go back to living a normal life after completely pushing him away, you're totally wrong. It would seem fine. Everthing seemed fine. But can you deny? The facts. Even if he doesn't show up in my notification bars. Even if he just lives far away there, without us trying to cross paths with each other. You can't deny.
Facts are: You still care so much it eats you up.
Let's say what's happening. Nothing! Totally, nothing. I'm living my life. I'm stressing out for exams like I should, I am playing badminton frequently and crazy like I always do. I am eating a lot a lot, and still worrying bout my weight like I always am. I'm listening to sentimental music whenever my ears are free like I use to.
Did we pop up to disrupt each other's lives? Nope. He's been good. Cuz he's probably very stressed for studies too. I still do check him out tru sc. I still do check everyone out, especially those who got into trouble in my stupid ass nightmares. We're all good. I'm good. Sometimes his snaps seems sad. His insta is probably very sad. It's like he uses insta, while I blog. We don't ever see each other being sad. Hahhahh. It's great anyway. At least he has somewhere he can spam as he likes, like what I'm doing. Right now.
Since we don't cross paths, what's wrong? I don't know? What's wrong?? I just missed him.
"Let's talk about your shits."
"How would you know that I have shits?"
"I always knew, but I kept quiet because there's always other peeps."
Am I showing? I thought I was doing good. But you don't think I was looking fine? What??? I just missed him. That's all. It's a lie. Him not showing up doesn't make me let go more. It makes me, away from shits that I don't wanna face. It doesn't change the fact that I care. It pops out when I drink. It pops out when I listen to music like this, lyrics like this. It haunts me. It's not letting me go.
He scares me so freaking much, because of the things I'd do for him.
So I decided to make him leave.
I think I succeeded, but. Am I happy ?
Yh would you rather be the miserable shit two years ago that finds excuses for him from time to time just to make yourself feel better? Would you tolerate the way he treated you, the way he allowed you to die on your own, then convince yourself that he didn't mean to?
Or be free, free and wild, away from that addiction that definitely kills you, without concerns? Without that kind of worries?
Love is a choice. Even when a bad choice was made, we don't back off from it, right? We do everything we could, until there was so hope. It's like an addiction of self harming that we did so so willingly. So willingly. I chose him. Yeah sure. Life told me that it was time to let go, but. How?
How exactly??
"I want you as my first, and my last."
"I would love you forever and ever, til death do us apart."
It doesn't matter anymore. Those are words. Words don't last.
Wood didn't talk to me for some time. But thoughts of him still pops up. Any time, any sec. Very funny huh? Hahah. I would wish that I'd hit my head, and lose my memories.
Efforts can't make you forget. You can't possibly forget stuff. But can efforts help with letting go?
Facts are: You still care so much it eats you up.
Let's say what's happening. Nothing! Totally, nothing. I'm living my life. I'm stressing out for exams like I should, I am playing badminton frequently and crazy like I always do. I am eating a lot a lot, and still worrying bout my weight like I always am. I'm listening to sentimental music whenever my ears are free like I use to.
Did we pop up to disrupt each other's lives? Nope. He's been good. Cuz he's probably very stressed for studies too. I still do check him out tru sc. I still do check everyone out, especially those who got into trouble in my stupid ass nightmares. We're all good. I'm good. Sometimes his snaps seems sad. His insta is probably very sad. It's like he uses insta, while I blog. We don't ever see each other being sad. Hahhahh. It's great anyway. At least he has somewhere he can spam as he likes, like what I'm doing. Right now.
Since we don't cross paths, what's wrong? I don't know? What's wrong?? I just missed him.
"Let's talk about your shits."
"How would you know that I have shits?"
"I always knew, but I kept quiet because there's always other peeps."
Am I showing? I thought I was doing good. But you don't think I was looking fine? What??? I just missed him. That's all. It's a lie. Him not showing up doesn't make me let go more. It makes me, away from shits that I don't wanna face. It doesn't change the fact that I care. It pops out when I drink. It pops out when I listen to music like this, lyrics like this. It haunts me. It's not letting me go.
He scares me so freaking much, because of the things I'd do for him.
So I decided to make him leave.
I think I succeeded, but. Am I happy ?
Yh would you rather be the miserable shit two years ago that finds excuses for him from time to time just to make yourself feel better? Would you tolerate the way he treated you, the way he allowed you to die on your own, then convince yourself that he didn't mean to?
Or be free, free and wild, away from that addiction that definitely kills you, without concerns? Without that kind of worries?
Love is a choice. Even when a bad choice was made, we don't back off from it, right? We do everything we could, until there was so hope. It's like an addiction of self harming that we did so so willingly. So willingly. I chose him. Yeah sure. Life told me that it was time to let go, but. How?
How exactly??
"I want you as my first, and my last."
"I would love you forever and ever, til death do us apart."
It doesn't matter anymore. Those are words. Words don't last.
Wood didn't talk to me for some time. But thoughts of him still pops up. Any time, any sec. Very funny huh? Hahah. I would wish that I'd hit my head, and lose my memories.
Efforts can't make you forget. You can't possibly forget stuff. But can efforts help with letting go?
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