Stress

These days I'm going crazy because of my head!!! Fuck, I can't stay in an aircon room without having at fifty sneezes a day. Even when I wear jacket all fucking time. What fuck is wrong with me! I used to wear shorts in class for the whole damn day. And now I'm wearing so properly, exclude the slippers uhm. Just let me rant my nose!

Everyone's bunking class everyday. It's like going to class daily seems like a good kid thing. What is wrong with everyone! Everyone's talking about dying. How to suicide. How to end all this shit. How we gonna fail and cry. When you look at their faces, oh god what happened to you. What happened to you?

I am catching up. I am distracted. I am not focusing, still. Wood crosses my mind very frequent but that does no harm. I'm relieved moon isn't so clingy that I wouldn't get attached or anything too. I am still distracted, by what? By my laziness. Always trying to run, trying to destress a little, taking breaks until I took so much breaks. At least, I'm in progress. I think. I'm understanding things, I'm doing things.

And that's the reason I can still play badminton. I mean hey. I usually quit when these shits happening. (Exam is the shit).

I'm extremely worried tho. Looking at the trials schedule, telling myself, the questions repeat. The papers repeat. Don't worry. Don't worry. Chill, and finish the paper. Fuck this, fuck that. I can pass this shit, duh, of course I can.

What else distracts me, the bed. The tireness. The non existing food. Gosh I need food every sec I think it's gonna happen. Every time during exam, I eat. I eat when studying, I eat at midnight, noon, morning, anytime. I fuck up my circadian rhythm and become as fucked as a vampyre who wakes up in the day.

Just focus, okay? Time's running out. Seriously. Stop going on fb. No karaoke after trials. I'll just have to wait for another seven weeks and a few days. It's very fast. We'll get tru this. Then it's time to sleep for days.

I had abs, I can get them back. I had stamina, I can get them back. Yeah. I should probably stop badminton for a month too. Yeah. Fuck. I'm gonna talk to coach about that. Yeah.

Maybe I'll stop a month's training, then... Badminton just once within that exam period. Good? Yeah once won't do much harm. Once is goos.

I fucking swear. From mid april, I will fucking stop badminton until mid may. And within that period I can only badminton once. Yeah.

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