Stress

I wanted to nap, despite how guilty I felt. And when I close my eyes, I see all the shit I couldn't do well. Every single thing.

Studies, badminton, music, interaction with humans. NON OF THEM WORKED. HAHA. Non of them. I failed in every single one. I fucked up everything. I can't even.

Nope stop lying to yourself. Stop trying to find reasons to keep going. Im a failure. It doesn't matter what they say. It doesn't matter how they keep me up. It's a known fact. I suck at living, just like that. I should've sticked to music. I should stay the me who doesn't sweat at all throughout the entire year. It doesn't matter if I have an athletic bestie. It doesn't matter how unmatched we were when we stood together. It's a known fact, I will always be me, this fucked up, failure.

No mom, you're wrong. I learnt them fast because I wanted to. Yeah? That me is GONE! I'm a piece of shit. You know that. You've seen me did shitty in spm. You've seen my fucked up AS results. A2 aren't gonna be any different.

I should quit everything. Why continue? Since I'm not gonna improve anyway. I'm gonna stay there forever. I'm gonna screw up. I'll never achieve what I want to achieve.

I'm wasting so much time, working on this piece of shit me. I'm wasting my parents' money, effort, everything. I just don't know how to be that perfect person.

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