Tired

Part of me hope that we gonna get drunk tonight. Part of me hope that we have a very simple night, with one or two small glasses of alcohol will do.

Loong's gonna have dinner with me. If I remember correctly, he likes Japanese food. We have similar taste in music. Isn't it weird a ninetine yr old psycho hangs out with a thirty plus dude? Nope it's not that weird. Haha.

I'm studying a lot recently. I feel like I learnt so much. So much, just referring to orange's past year paper. She's the smart kid. always feeling sad for getting "just A". Ish. But she's not a bad kid. She's definitely arrogant. In a slightly obvious way, but she helps me. I mean. She taught me stuff that I was fucking confused at. Stupid me.

It's so weird when you see a smart kid disliking another smart kid. Like hey. I know why you don't like her. Cuz she's a damn competitor.

We talked about biotech. Shum has the thought of Going for this too, but we're both afraid of job opportunities.

They ended up making washing powder.
They end up digging shits to make fertilizer.
We gotta get a phd too because a degree is like the most basic form. And damn. After that, where would we end up?

I notice myself thinking from moon's perspective, sometimes.

If I want a better job opportunity, I needa get off this country.

How about this, how about that?

Another disadvantage of "giving shit" about someone important.

I learnt a lot these days..and I even practiced a bit of violin. Recently I stopped listening to sentimental music, and start with classical. It makes me wanna be a pro violinist.

I'm thinking so much, still. My eyes are tired. I'm getting constant headaches. I'm so tired. I can't wake early. My arm aches when I take off my shirt.

It's like fireworks in my head. But I'm gonna turn up looking sane and happy.

Another voice inside me still concerns about how crazy I've made wood to be.

And I want a day off from my head. I wanna faint. I wanna get unconscious and feel like it's okay to do so.

Are you sure you don't want to drink and get high again?
I'm not.

Come on..two more months.... What can happen?

I will.catch.up, and I definitely will understand more things. A2 is just a paper.

It doesn't define the results for my future. It doesn't define me, or how I'm gonna end up working as.

I'm so tired.

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