Shore talk

We're having a penang trip. Five days trip. I thought it was too crazy long but oh well...

Many inner thoughts. There's just five of us, me, shell, hoodie, class rep and his bf. This is a very extremely weird couple. Especially his bf. Idk how else to describe him besides weird. But class rep's weird too sometimes. I guess it's a nice match.

That day they brought us to a bar. I thought the price was okay, but it wasn't actually that okay. but at least we get to have free snacks. That day, I realized hoodie seems pretty sed. Class rep told him, let's enjoy these five days and not think about shits.

I used to think, I'm not really connected to my coursemates and Idk why. No matter how much I try, it's not there. I thought, we may look close, but that's just how it looks. I find it hard to start conversations. I'd have to avoid awkwardness and start it anyway. How do we start?

How's life.
What are you doing after this trip.

Hoodie says, falling into crippling depression.

Today I talked to him. I guess I felt bad whenever everyone speaks in Chinese and he couldn't understand. I told him about ET squad, Loong squad, moon, etc. Then he told me about his crippling depression. His parents. His mom sounds like me tho. The me before breaking up with wood. The me who was desperately needing his trust. I'm a free soul. I can't be tied up. I can, maybe. But there's a limit.

We both were wrong.
He shouldn't put all his stress on me, making my day terrible, suffocated.
I shouldn't get affected by his treatment, I knew how stressed he was.

He asked me, which one's priority? Love or freedom?
I think both. If you love someone, you give them the freedom. If they love you back, they should know their boundary, they will not let you feel insecured at all. That's how. You trust.

It's pretty sentimental.

Just sitting by the shore, legs dangling. The breeze was crazy. There was so much saltiness in the air. Haha. Great talk, hoodie. This is like the first time listening to your inner voice. The reason of your crippling depression.

To me, going on a vacation with people that you're not completely connected with, is to connect. You bond. Of course, you enjoy, but speaking it out would make you enjoy even more afterwards, isn't that right?

Seaweed says he's going on a trip to Taiwan with peeps he doesn't even connect with. It's like my case tho. I said, don't sigh, just go. Maybe there's a chance to get closer?

And these type of conversation is how.

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