.

Told you guys, good moments won't ever last.
I'm happy for the three days, which means I'll suffer for nine days. Or.maybe, more.

I feel like I kinda know why drama queen never responded to our wishes. It's like...

Wow I'm not in the mood rn, *silents phone*

I do turn the sounds back on, sometimes.

I'm gonna just throw the phone aside all the time. If you ask me why I lose patience when I replied you in secs but you disappeared halfway,,,,

I waited. Haha. How dumb.

Things tell me that, I'm a little over.

When you're doing the wrong thing that has half the chance to lead to someone being heartbroken.

One night out wouldn't change the thing. Karaoke won't change anything. A great meal wouldn't change anything too.

At the end the shits run back to you, and force you to face them.

I know I wasted months of your life, your youth, your effort and energy.

Do you like the idea of me that would always care for you? Maybe you'll be right about that fact. But you gotta look at both sides. When the damage is gonna cost a little bit of happiness, it's not worth it! It's not!!!!!!

I don't understand why. It's still a must to tell. But you're always gonna blame me. Ignore me, go ahead. Ignore forever, don't show up. Maybe, cancel all the plans. Let me drown in disappointments. Cuz I'm this wrong, I don't deserve love like that. I love freedom too damn much, it scares me to be too close with someone.

Is that wrong? Am I wrong for telling you that? You have all your rights to get sad when I say this.

Can you feel your efforts being wasted?
Every single time you disappear like that, I'd think. Maybe he's planning about leaving already. And there's nothing I can do, because. It's too late.

Do I want you to disappear? Nope.
But what I want doesn't matter, right?
If shits are necessary, it'll appear in life, again and again and again in a shitty way, then you have no fucking choice you gotta make it stop, you gotta say "fuck off!!!!" Even when all you wanna do is to wrap your arms around him.

I regained some of my positive energy, but I'll never regain the ability to get crazy over someone.

What if I tell you, I do like you. But I don't think this feeling's gonna get any further?

I don't even have to do anything to think that way anymore. There are no voices. No one's telling me to stay alone. But I fell in love with being alone.

It's like I don't know how to. How to see things in that fantasy way. It's like love is a fantasy and I'm accepting reality.

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