.

Sometimes Idk how to feel, being the last one to know. I can't believe I'd have to hear news from my bestie, or mom. Idk how to feel. Because I screwed up.

You know when you screwed up something, and you can't really fix it... The only thing you could do is stop. Stop all the things that has to be stopped, and hope for the best. What's the best? There's just... Idk.

You know a pure friendship would be screwed up after one starts romanticizing. Things will never end well. And at the end, there's no possibility of staying friends. UNLESS, silence from the single sided romanticization. For pineapple's case. For Shell's case, many typical human's case.

I'm so glad pineapple and yip man are girls. We can talk about everything, and... There won't be extra concerns. Friends that truly want to be in you for no other motives than just... Participating a part of your life, and giving the support for no reason. And we chose to be close, to talk about these things. We chose to do things for no reason.

Guys and girls would never have pure friendship I guess.

If you still like him, and he still likes you, why don't you two get back together?
Because of the way he treated me after we broke up. He doesn't give a damn about the damage he caused, so why let him back in?
Yeah true.

I guess I have nothing to say about that. Day by day, it's gonna go away, bit by bit. The importance, the trust, the type of concern.

Just like how wood left. He leaves, physically first, which immediately discontinued all the interaction we share. Slowly, communication. One sentence, I stopped tagging him. One word, I stopped texting him. Bit by bit, he becomes a single sided crush. A crush who crushed me. Haha. Bit by bit, I only care by sneaking up on social apps. So far maybe I've only reached this stage. Next, I wouldn't even type his name to swipe tru his photos. Then I wouldn't even think of him whenever I got slightly more tipsy. I wouldn't even cry when I drink.

Time wins. It brought him away, bit by bit. It could bring everything else away too, unless we all make an effort. Efforts are gonna be made, in between my psychs. Then the rest...... There's just nothing we can do.

Maybe because of the faults I've did for the past five months. I ruined everything. Knowing it wouldn't change the fact that I've did it. I didn't stop myself. I should've stopped myself earlier but look at me.

I deserve to not know anything at all. Not even the last one. Go on with your life. Leave, go far far away. And I'll be here, thinking how you'd be moving on. Get a great great life, and let guilt drown me. Officially.

Share this post