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I don't understand why am I in this state.

Tomorrow would be math. I've given up on math. I was planning to do a little bit of exercises. But with all the shits in my head, hahahahahaha. Exercises? More like dying.

Sometimes I wonder. What's gonna happen after years? Let me guess. Maybe I'll still be playing badminton, but lesser with ET squad? Even lesser or maybe not at all with moon squad. Why? Because I'm too fucked up to be falling for someone. And because of that, we we seem more effortless being strangers?? So years later he'd disappear. Wood too might. He's gonna leave this country anyway, there's no reason he'd stay in my life. I wanna keep pineapple and yip man. I don't care. I will do anything to keep you guys. Lychee? I'm not sure. I wanna keep her too but. She seems so far away....

In conclusion, there'll be new temporary people that I'll be fucking afraid to get close with. The boys will be gone, because they're boys. And there'll be issues being friends with guys. But arrogant might stay! He's too crazy so there wouldn't be a problem I guess. That's all.

It seems sad now. But it's probably just nature. Everyone's gotta leave. Promises are pretty lies. Moon's gotta go. Yeah. Too high expectation kills.

Am I gonna be less fucked up?
I don't know. Sometimes I think it hasn't been improving. I'm still like shit. I'm this fucked up. Maybe yip man's gonna get tired of my bullshit too. Hah. Right? Bijjj don't have to deny that quick. It's okay to be sick of me. Everyone's sick of me.

Yh please be less fucked up? Please.

At least, never ever cry over these things anymore.

I wasted yesterday. I might waste today too. I might screw up A levels. I guess I need a miracle for me to turn back to normal.

Why everytime I thought I went back to normal.... Then it doesn't last for even a week??? Why?

Was I this fucked up last year?

Yeah probably worse.

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