Wood.

I reread what wood texted me. Again and again. The last time he texted me, it was a long text. I haven't been receiving long texts from him, it's always me texting long to him.

One day he saw pineapple's snap. She snapped me just waving to her at Arena bar. The other one was Hang drunk and resting his head on the table, so I made a sleeping post for her to snap. Yes it looked like I was damn wasted too. But I wasn't. Pineapple's my bestie. We'd cray together. I'd go cray in front of her.

He said he doesn't know what's wrong with me. He doesn't understand why I'm different.

It's so funny! Do you need a reason to change? Because time passes! And NOTHING DOESN'T CHANGE. You idiot enough? Why the fuck do you care? Look at me. My life is different. So? What can you do? You're not the boss of me. You don't tell me how to live my life. You told me too much and I got fed up and THAT'S WHY we broke up. I'm a free girl.

He said I'd touch liquor someday. He was right. Whiskey was good. But he doesn't even know that I touched cigar. Do you have a problem seeing how different I am? I remember telling you this. I remember I told you that I go out to drink with the boys, sometimes. I told you, I go out with a bunch of guys and almost only guys for badminton, and I return home at latest 4am+. We finished singk at 4. I told you these and you said you accept that. You said it. What's the deal?

Oh you meant everything in the letter? You said you want me back in the letter! Are you sure? Look at me being like this! You want this me? Yeah. I wore a skirt. I wore sleeveless. I wore heels. I drink. I tried smoking. I did everything I never did when I was 17. Look at me as a fucking nobody instead of your girl! I'm not your gf anymore, wood. Why would you make a fuss about that???

You pushed me hard, til I hit rock bottom. I fucking died and these people pulled me back up. These people saved my life, changed the way I view almost everything. These people saved me. So stop judging what I've become. I've changed for better.

It's funny how I've tried again and again to try break the ice, then fail so badly. If anything, you're the only one that has made me try again and again, even when I never succeed, when it looked like I did it but I failed. You're the only one who made me bring myself up again, to try again. But now, I accept that you're GONE. And I will never ever fucking try anymore.
You don't have to complain about what I've become. Cuz you made me what I am.

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