Badminton after P3

Today started very badly, but ended with a smile. P3. The most fucking hateful subject in my life. (Wait no. Just A levels) It was as worse as chem P4. Did you know how badly I've did P4? So math P3 was worse.. Fuck me. I'm the type of person who gets dizzy and lightheaded when I'm facing these stuff. Dizziness was really bad during trials. For all subjects. Thankfully it got this bad only for P3. Thankfully. I get that feeling too when wood was about to break up with me. When he typed, and typed, and he just didn't send. I knew what he's about to say before he even sent it. I fucking knew. It wasn't hard to sense the death. Worst day of my life...

I got back home. I ate my breakfast, then upstairs to study. Here they go. People are nice. My snap buddies are nice. Moon was nice. I had critically low patience these days. Every fucktards on the road gets my high beam, and cusses. Too many idiots on the road. Every single thing, I was impatience. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I don't have time.
"Badminton tonight?"
Did you know I literally cried when I rant? I usually do. I mean. When I rant. Every time I tell you what happened between wood and I. Everytime I talk to people about problems. Every time I think about how fucking useless I am to this world. I don't deserve the world cutest grandma. I don't deserve daily homecooked breakfast. I don't deserve anyone who tries to cheer me up. I don't deserve badminton, and food. What did I do? Look at my achievements. I'm like a fucking piece of shit disgrace. I seriously duno. Should I even badminton? I shouldn't. I'm sad af. And badminton? Look at me badminton. I can't even badminton well too. The one and only thing that I've voluntarily trained myself for. And I still couldn't beat the ones I wanna beat. I couldn't achieve my one and only target. Should I badminton?

I went anyway. I liked seeing people that disappeared for a long time. I liked reunions. I found myself easily approaching the girls instead of guys. Last Thurs too, I reached and I actually talked to red. While today, I talked to Ben's girl. Lol she knew me before I had to self intro. I think it's my nature to be approaching girls. Maybe I'm really BI. Or maybe I'm just too shy with guys. I'm not regretting at all, for badmintoning. I'm sed. These people makes me laugh a lot. Crazy lot. Especially ET. Crazy af. Sometimes, I think I do considered him. But he's too crazy. Nice guys will be nice guys. I'd stick to my preference: serious people. On the other hand, I think I might be starting to talk, more.

Ooh Loong was here today. He didn't join us for badminton but he joined for food. These people. Cinnamon ordered a huge pile of spicy rice and couldn't finish it. It was the portion. Crazy af. V helped eat about half, and it's still a lot left. I ordered fucking cheese naan, and managed to finish up her spicy ass rice. I'm actually surprised by how much food my stomach could contain. Is my stomach this big??? I could still eat. But I'll have my control back after exams. I'm going to train back my abs, and make my thighs fitter.

You'll have to quit us if you quit supper.

True that. I won't ever quit y'all man. Did you know? ET squad is like an important half in my life already. I'm not planning to lose contact with you guys. I'm not planning to fuck things up. So even if I really have a thing for anyone in this squad, I won't do anything. They're hilarious. And crazy entertaining to be with. I guess I can say that... It's always worth it. If I go mad with them, or just purely badminton plus some supper. I'm probably gonna end up sitting in my chair fucked up and depressed if I didn't go for badminton today so thank you moon, for convincing me to go.

Fucking exams fucked my sleep, fucked my time with bed and my appetite. It's definitely gonna fuck my weight. But fuck you, math. Cuz you're just one subject. Fuck math, it's not worth it being depressed for one paper. Nope. No.

Cheers.

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