.

Everyday I'm thinking. I'm easily shaken by people's words. They like to ask me, what am I doing for degree? Then I wouldn't like to answer that. And when I do, they say, it's gonna be hard. There wouldn't be much job opportunities. But when I look up in the internet, it's not that hard too. Many are hiring. Like many.

At the end, they'd say, you might end up doing marketing stuff. But it's no difference anyway. You can study anything and end up doing business. So why not study something interesting? Everyone's gonna judge. So fuck them all. Fuck them all.

I feel so stucked. Am I seriously going to study this, or not? Should I just go for business instead? Haha. Fuck this shit. Maybe I can really go for business then continue dad's all time effort. Maybe I could just do that and save all the bullshit.

Time is running out. I'm wasting each and everyday. I'm living like a piece of shit. I don't even have things to stress about.

What are you going to do when you come out?

I don't know? Depends. It depends, honestly.
I finished A levels with not so pretty results. I still have chance to pick art over science. I still could pick anything. Literally anything.

I don't know what I want.

Fuck my life, man. What am I gonna do when everyone's like that?? The fuck.

I have less than one month to make a decision. In one month, it's either apply, or quickly think about what else I want to go for.

What to do? I'm afraid of making decisions that I'd regret. If I don't get a nice job... They're gonna say something. Even if I get a job related to what I study, they're gonna say something.

Why can't I just ignore people and fuck them all?? But should I choose this ??

There's a safe route. There's a risky route.
Safe route: go for business then continue dad's, no one can say anything cuz... I'd be a good daughter for doing that.
Risky route: go for what I want,
If I don't get a job, there's always dad's job.
If I get a job, it might be away from here. It might be a job non related to what i study for degree. In other words, I wasted the money.
Or I'd miraculously get a job not too far away.

Fuck life.

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